Randall Polito has watched teams create friction out of nothing.
Not out of conflict. Not out of disagreement. Out of vagueness.
One person says "take notes." The other person hears "take notes." Both think they've communicated. But one meant "write down what we discussed." The other meant "write down what we discussed and send it to me by EOD."
Same instruction. Different expectations. Immediate friction.
Or someone says "that feature doesn't work." One person hears "something existing is broken." Another person hears "you haven't built this yet." Two very different problems. Two people now talking past each other.
Randy Polito's realization: most team conflict isn't about disagreement. It's about incompleteness.
Here's what he's learned: specificity prevents friction.
When Randall Polito was working through company issues that had created friction, he and his supervisor took a new approach. Instead of fighting the same fights, they asked more questions. They tried to uncover what people actually needed. And then—this is the key—they got specific about it.
Don't say "collaborate better." Say "here's what collaboration looks like: you write the proposal, I review it by Wednesday, we discuss Friday, we implement the following week."
Don't say "keep me updated." Say "send me a summary every Friday with these three things: what we shipped, what's blocked, what we're starting next."
Don't say "take notes." Say "take notes and send them to me within two hours so I can review them before the next meeting."
The vagueness creates assumptions. The assumptions create confusion. The confusion creates friction. And the friction feels like a people problem when it's actually a communication problem.
Randy Polito thinks about this in recovery work. Someone says "I'm struggling." That could mean anything. Physical cravings. Emotional overwhelm. Isolation. Lack of direction. A bad day at work. The person might think they're being clear. The listener might think they understand. But they could be talking about completely different things.
Specificity changes that. "I'm struggling with the isolation. I haven't talked to anyone from the group in three weeks, and I'm starting to feel like I don't belong anymore." Now you know exactly what's missing and exactly how to help.
Here's what Randall Polito believes: most conflict comes from people not understanding what people actually need from them. Not because people are unwilling to help. But because the ask is too vague to answer.
You can't hit a target you can't see. You can't meet a need you don't understand. You can't deliver on an expectation you never heard clearly.
So get specific. Not because you're being controlling or micromanaging. But because specificity is how you prevent people from guessing, from assuming, from creating friction out of nothing.
The difference between "take notes" and "take notes and send them to me" is a feature. The difference between vague instruction and clear instruction is whether the work actually gets done.
Randy Polito stops assuming people understand. He gets specific. And the friction disappears.
— Randy Polito