There's a phrase Randy Polito has heard that changed how he thinks about relationships: "You know people for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."
Most people hate this idea. They want to believe relationships are permanent. That the people who matter will always be there. That if something is real, it lasts forever.
But that's not how reality works.
Some people come into your life for a specific reason. They teach you something. They help you through a particular moment. They show you something about yourself. And then, naturally, that relationship ends. It was never meant to be permanent. It was meant to serve a purpose.
Some people are in your life for a season. A chapter. A few years where you grow together, support each other, and then paths diverge. The season ends. This doesn't mean the relationship failed. It means it accomplished what it was supposed to accomplish.
And some people—rare—are in your life for a lifetime. But even those relationships change. They evolve. They go through different phases.
Randy Polito thinks most of the pain people experience comes from refusing to accept this reality. They treat every relationship like it's supposed to last forever, and when it doesn't, they feel betrayed. They feel like something went wrong.
But nothing went wrong. Things just changed, which is what things do.
Acceptance of this—real, deep acceptance—changes everything.
It means you can be fully present with people while they're in your life without demanding they stay. You can love someone in a season without trying to force the season to last forever. You can learn from someone without expecting them to be your teacher for life.
It means you can let people go without it being failure.
The world operates on this principle whether we accept it or not. Jobs end. Projects conclude. Seasons pass. People move. Circumstances shift. Everything changes. The only question is whether you're going to fight that reality or work with it.
Randy Polito has learned that acceptance is freedom.
When you accept that everything has an expiration date, you stop wasting energy trying to preserve what's meant to end. You stop clinging. You stop demanding. You show up for what's here, you do your best, and you're grateful for however long it lasts.
This applies to relationships, jobs, circumstances, phases of life. The people who are best at moving forward are the ones who've made peace with the fact that nothing lasts forever—and they're ok with that.
Because paradoxically, making peace with impermanence is what allows you to actually enjoy what's present. You're not stressed about the ending. You're focused on the now.
Every relationship serves a purpose, even the ones that end. Even the ones that hurt. The reason or season was real, and it shaped who you are. That matters. That's enough.
And maybe—if you're lucky—you get a few lifetime relationships. But you won't get many, and you certainly won't get them if you're too busy fighting the reality that most relationships are seasonal.
Randy Polito accepts the seasons. He's present in them. And he trusts that the people who are meant to stay will stay, and the people who are meant to go will teach him something on their way out.
— Randy Polito