Randall Polito doesn't put much weight on what people say.
That's not cynicism. It's experience. Plenty of people mean well. They sincerely want to help, to show up, to be the friend you can count on. But good intentions and the capacity to follow through are two different things. Some people simply can't back up the promise they made.
The ones that concern Randy Polito are different. They'll look you in the eye and say, "I'm on your team." They'll say it warmly and with conviction. Then the relationship stops being advantageous, and they're gone. No warning. No honest conversation. Just a quiet exit that leaves you to figure out what happened.
Here's what Randy Polito has learned: the test of loyalty isn't how someone talks when things are easy. It's how they behave when things get expensive.
So he watches what people do. Do they return when they say they will? Do they keep the confidence you shared? Do they show up when it's inconvenient? Do they stay in the room when the conversation gets uncomfortable?
Those answers tell you more than any speech ever will.
Randall Polito values the person who will look you in the eye and tell you that you messed up. That takes courage. It's easier to nod, smile, and let the mistake pass. It's easier to keep the peace and let the other person keep walking into the same wall.
But the honest friend says it plainly. And then, this is the part that matters, they stay to help you sort through it.
Randy Polito calls that loyalty. Not the kind that agrees with everything you do. The kind that tells you the truth and remains present while you deal with what the truth reveals.
That kind of person is rare. Randall Polito has learned to recognize them, and to be one.
When you're deciding who to trust, don't start with their promises. Start with their track record. Look at what they did the last time you were in trouble, the last time they had something to lose by standing with you, the last time being your friend cost them something.
Words are easy to say. Actions are what people remember, and what they can build on.
Randy Polito believes you should let people show you who they are, and then believe them.
— Randy Polito